Love doesn't dishonor or self seek.

Love does not dishonor

Dishonor- a state of shame or disgrace.

Love does not dishonor because love is not humiliating, demeaning, or disrespectful. When you love someone you uplift them with respect and admiration. Growing up in foster care I was angry because my mother didn't raise me and my sibling together in one household. I felt as if she had given up on all of us and I was placed in the world to figure it out on my own. When I would meet with counselors and my case workers I would belittle her and share all the negative details. I was more concerned about how I felt and only wanted to share my truth. I damaged her reputation and disrespected her. The word of God says that we should not dishonor our mother or father. As a teenager I had no clue on what that meant. I believed that it just meant that we had to be obedient and do what they. So as I matured and grew older I had to repent and change.

We all have friends, relatives or people who just won't do right! The first thing some of us do is dial a number and gossip about all of the mess that they are in without even mentioning the positive aspects. There are married men and women who share private information about their spouse to people who aren't qualified to give advice or instruction. Social media is a BIG problem! There have been pictures or posts made about others who has made a mistakes and it has gotten out. You dishonor others by sharing the information and/or posting negative comments. I don't know about you all but I am a mother and it's easy for me to pick up the phone to call a close friend and say “Girl why did my son…..” and then go on about how frustrated I am. That’s dishonoring my own child! There are so many scenarios that I could go over but you get the picture.

THIS IS HELPING ME!

What happens when you dishonor others is you damage their reputation, block opportunities, make them feel disowned, hurt and insecure. Why would you want a loved one to feel that way? Let's do a better job of uplifting and honoring one another.

How to honor others

1. Speak highly of others

2. See others as priceless

3. Help them rise

4. Help them with a problem

5. Listen and don’t tell! (Unless they are threatening to harm themselves or others)

6. Offer credible advice

Love is not self seeking!

Self Seeking- the act or practice of selfishly advancing one's own ends

Philippians 2:3-4 Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.

First of all, Jesus was sent to earth to fulfill prophecy, to seek and serve the lost, so that men might have life more abundant, to bear our sins and to be an example for Christians. He had a mission and because he was obedient, we all have the opportunity to live for eternity in heaven. He didn't come for self gain!

We were created to serve God! I have received some of God’s greatest revelations while serving with a selfless spirit.

For the last three ½ years I have had the opportunity to watch my Pastor serve others by creating space for others to get delivered, grow in spiritual gifts and learn how to work in a way that gives God all the glory. He could have easily used it as a platform to gain popularity or money but what we all know that only leads to temporary gains. Members would eventually leave and the church would be shut down because people wouldn't feel neglected and empty.

As I've served at TSM I have grown in a way that has taught me how to strategically work in a way that uplifts and empowers people. I organized a youth jam for the youth in north city of St. Louis. The goal was to feed, provide school supplies and inspire the youth to not waste time in this upcoming school year. THAT WAS THE ONLY FOCUS! As I worked to bring everything together FOR THE YOUTH, I received an abundance of school supplies, cash donations and plenty of people showed up to assist in different areas. The entire time the parents, youth and volunteers had huge smiles on their faces because they felt welcomed and had a great time. At the end, ten youth jumped up with no hesitation and walked to the front to give their lives over to Christ. At that moment I thought to myself “this would have not been the outcome if my heart wasn't to serve them selflessly.”

Now think about it, if I had worked to gain attention and to fuel my ego nobody would have showed up, donated and those ten youth would have probably not come to Christ that day. People can sense a self seeking spirit whose after only personal gain. You show love by serving others with no strings attached and with holy intentions. NOW THAT'S LOVE!

Signs that you are self seeking

1. Thirsty for recognition

2. Controlling

3. More position oriented than submission oriented

4. Self referencing

5. You talk way more than you listen

6. Defensive